Monday, October 28

When you

dont really know how to stand up after few times keep falling, u'll be bored to the moon and back.
towards everything, near far big small loved not, yes everything.

i am 23.
young & healthy.
free & easy.

i just dont have the solutions for all these bullshits happened, & just because im too tired to face it, i pray for it to end.

& i dont know which one should i end.

Monday, March 4

Climax

i've been a dumb for posting something unnecessary through this junk.

because of the work loads.
because of the environment.
because of the stress i faced.
because of the time constraints.
because of the distance.

i can list and blame every single thing. the list will goes on and on.
but the main cause is me.

BECAUSE I CANT COPE WITH THE SITUATION ANYMORE.
BECAUSE IM TOO WEAK.
BECAUSE IM DIFFERENT.
because of me.

i dont ask u guys to feel me. and i dont even ask u guys to understand me. i know im wrong. i know my faults. and i realize all my mistakes that i've made.

i know im exceeding the line. i know im just too much. yelah, tak kan dekat stadium tengah tengok bola pon nak kena meset kot? wtf kan?

i dont know how to explain. i dont know how to come clean. takpe lah, i'll take all the blames. sebab mengaku je, mmg gila pon.

i've been acting strong for years. kononnya aku paling hebat sebab semua benda aku boleh simpan sendiri. but the truth is, NO. no, im not.

so, dengan rasa rendah dirinya, to those yang berbulu dengan things that i've done, and to those whoever read this, im sorry. and to you, im seriously sorry for the madness that drived me out of control.

it's me. i know.
haih.

Wednesday, January 16

Sy Makan Maggi Cup Tomyam

when its the time i wanna go home earlayyy, u ask me to go home late. im thankful. so that i can eat maggi cup tomyam, in the office, and everyone was like hurmmmm wangi what did u tapau fatin? proudly i answered maggi tomyam sedappppp.

my kepala is pening and i miss my katil. despite of everything im thankful for what the goods brought to me today. finally, as i wished. Alhamdulillah =')

balik lambat pon balik lambatlah. as long as i can start my building soonest as possible. seriously cant wait! ♥

Sunday, January 6

Again.

hi hi hi! its sunday morning everyone! and im waiting for marzalina to come over for fetching me up to somewhere only we know. still havent breakfast yet and my tummy kinda hungry at the moment. not a good start for the day anyway. hurm, still remember about my thought of diary-ing this blog? haha guess thats what im doing now. blogging in the morning is never my thangggg actually demmit.

well, i have a room mate now after 8months living alone in a room. thats kinda awkward because of few things i never experienced before. but shes good though. and right now, still sleeping and everyone in the whole house is also still sleeping walaweyyy bangun lah semorang hiburkan hatiku ini.

what to write huh?

...
...
..........

hurm okay, working life is sucks thousands times compared to the time of being a student. being a student is awesomely gorgeous superbly fun et al. instead of not having enough money to fulfill all ur wants and needs, but u still have times to lazy around. even u need to wake up early to attend morning class, but its not as hell as when ure being employed. its like u still have the time and energy but u dont have enough money (and u have the money but its only not enough).

working life -- u have the money (even sometimes its still not enough) but u dont have the time and energy.

feels like to resign and further master for living. but i want monayyyy!


Memory of early November, 2012.

♥ ♥ ♥

Saturday, January 5

So,

it's the first weekend im staying here going nowhere. bored like hell but kinda relax though. last night after arrived home after few frustrated incidents, i was sleeping like a dead people -- not even changed what worn and not even cleaned up the make up. its so soooooothing u should try sometimes. hiks.

because im no longer possess a twitter account so i decided to turn back blogging. people like me, who always got lots of things stuck in the mind HAVE to rant onto things like this, i mean blog twitter fb etc etc. and its not for seeking attention somehow i only need to burst out things. kinda like the thought of diary-ing this blog. gosh.

for the exact thing i know which im writing for no one as no one will ever read all my rambling shits, i still need to write. and seriously i dont know for what. my writing have no focus which i will write write write without knowing the story line, the climax, the ending and yes im only write for myself. because its my writing.

and i dont care. i dont give a fuck.

8 months being employed. Alhamdulillah. since im still young, possess the might, have the time, i will all out my life working with no concerns of going home late et al. with all my might, In Shaa Allah.

2013, and im still 22. forever 22. because 22 is the maximum limit, cannot exceed the max bound weehee.

Thursday, January 3

Hi 2013

well, since i'm home early today so it's good to rant about some things here.

2012 meant a lot. lots of lot. it was the year which everything happened in once. i finished my study, joined GEMS for two months in Mersing -- got to know more friends, lots of new things, so called like the introduction for my careered life, been a QS in Eng Han for about three months, experienced a new working environment when i moved to DDS in August, Ilham's convocation, my own convocation -- the best of the best memories ever since families, love of my life and friends were all in one occasion, not to forget the wedding of Nadia and Zulhilmi, and the best birthday present ever as Ilham came to Terengganu for the wedding, the precious gift so far.

seriously, lots of things. sweet things bad things altogether making memories of 2012 will not be left forgotten.

and as today is already the 3rd day of 2013, i would like to say it's ain't easy to do a business. required patience and hard works. but the most important part is to never give up. why? because i already started a business which i sell clothes. this is a part of my wish in 2012 back then and Alhamdulillah, fulfilled even it took quite a long time. but hey, it's worth the wait anyway =)

till rant again next time. seriously my english is getting 'poorer' as working around all those chinese making me add the 'lah' for every conversation i made. even with the Caucasian the 'lah' still happened. very the zzzz.