Friday, February 3

I Should Write Something

well guys, let me tell u this, it's kinda hard for me nowadays since i already finished my study few weeks ago. and so now all i do is sitting in my room browsing 9gag for life, tweeting, sleeping, dreaming and bitching. okay now u may ignore the last word listed.

SO, for this few weeks doing nothing and ALSO, earning nothing, i'm totally fucked up. i got no money to survive things ( read: shopping, eat everything, bitching et cetera et cetera) as for now i already promised myself not to ask money from my parents, and yet, still craving for baju baru seluar baru beg baru oh demmit. here, i realized, betapa tak bestnya duduk rumah sebab account tidak lagi diisi tiap-tiap minggu, not betapa tak sedar diri nya aku ini sebab still demand for everything even i got no money with me. last week dah shopping padahal, dem.

okay, now i'm rambling rubbish. great.

the hardest thing for me during this jobless moment is, i'm so desperate for jobs. i tried a lot. i applied everything. and yet i'm still applying. hoping for at least one to sangkut, homaiii. tu la, padan muka, bila rezeki dah ada depan mata, selamba badak kau tolak. rasakan lah.

i did jot down that i wanna further my master before this. and i'm still on for that. just it has to be postponed. not now. but tengok lah macam mana, ada rezeki ada lah kan. =')

tak ada hala tuju buat entry ni actually. i just felt that i had to jot something, too many things in the mind, felt like puking sometimes. susah bila jadi orang yang susah nak percayakan orang, sebab susah nak luahkan perasaan kasik tenang sikit kepala. orang yang sepatutnya diluahkan unreachable sebab berada di luar kawasan, so terpaksa tahan sampai dia balik. hope bila dia dah balik nanti semua dah okay, dah boleh lupa, then tak ada la menyusahkan dia sangat. kadang-kadang pelik macam mana orang boleh jaja masalah dia merata. plus amazed. sebab aku tak reti nak jadi macam gitu, aku akan rasa macam attention whore.

anyway, i'm just good. instead of everything happened, i'm good.

FUCK, what is actually this all about?